I'll Make a Man Out of You
by Marree
Summary: Seifer is taking a test to become an instructor...


I'll Make a Man Out of You  
by Mariye  
  
======  
Disclaimer: Yeah. You all know I don't own anything. Well, I am gonna  
own the new Lenny Kravitz CD, Madonna CD, Harvest Moon 2 for   
gameboy, and money after Christmas... (so I overheard my Uncle telling  
my aunt what he bought me...) LoL. Still, I don't know what the   
rest of my family's getting me yet... And the jar of old Mayonaise  
is still floating around. (This is an... odd... family tradition. My  
friends tell me they think its funny though, so if you wanna know  
it and hear it, let me know, email me, ICQ me, or AIM me and I'll   
tell the whole story.) Also, yes, this is the song from Mulan. I   
was watching my cousin and stepcousin today.  
======  
  
[training center. Seifer stands in front of Irvine, Squall, Zell,  
Raijin, and Fujin.]  
  
Seifer: Listen up Maggots! Today we're gonna train long and hard!  
Because all of you are tubs of lard!  
  
Zell: Um, Guys, I'm just curious. How did we get stuck in this   
class?  
  
Squall: Its a test to see if Seifer's fit to be an instructor and,  
lucky us, we get to be his test students.  
  
Irvine: How did we get stuck with this?  
  
Squall: Remember when Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie made that Garden   
float while we were playing football, and how our ball kinda ruined  
it?  
  
Irvine and Zell: Um, yeah?  
  
Squall: This is our punishment.  
  
Zell: [to Irvine] I knew that would come back to haunt us.  
  
Seifer: Quiet in the ranks! That means you two Chicken-Wuss!  
  
[Zell glares at Seifer and sticks his tongue out at him. Seifer makes  
the I've-got-my-eye-on-you sign from Meet the Parents.]  
  
Seifer: Listen babies! I'm gonna make men  
  
Fujin: EH-HEM  
  
Seifer: Sorry Fujin, sorry Chicken-Wuss. Men and Women outta you!  
  
Zell: What did you call me you sorry excuse for a Sorceress's Knight?  
  
Seifer: Quiet in the ranks! [shoots a shot off into the air.]   
Alright, here we go. All of you go run in the training center there   
and find a T-Rexar. Beat it up, then each bring back a dino bone as   
proof.   
  
[everyone hesitates and whispers]  
  
Seifer: NOW!  
  
[everyone runs.]  
  
Irvine: Argh!  
  
Seifer: [runs over] What's wrong soldier?   
  
[Everyone gathers by the entrance where Irvine has fallen.]  
  
Irvine: T-Rexar cast Bio on me. Ugh. Poison... seeping... in...  
  
Seifer: [pats Irvine's shoulder.] Guess you have to go to the   
infirmary. Its a pity. Too bad you can't stay. Move along everyone,  
nothing to see here.  
  
Zell: I don't think T-Rexars cast Bio...  
  
Irvine: Didn't Seifer tell you to shut up?!?! Um, I mean.... ugh...  
poison making me delusional.  
  
[Irvine crawls away, until he is behind Seifer. Then he stands up,  
leaps for joy, makes a face at the remaining victims, and runs.   
Seifer looks at Zell. Makes the IGMEOY gesture]  
  
Zell: [to Raijin, Fujin, and Seifer, who are still gathered around  
the small area.] Me thinks Irvine is smarter than we all thought...  
  
Raijin: Wish I'd thought of that, ya know.  
  
Seifer: Quiet in the ranks! [Looks at Zell. Makes the gesture again.]   
Stop trying to get my posse in trouble. Brat, I know you're a bad  
seed. Hey! I just made a joke. Bad seed, bad SeeD.   
  
Zell: [murmurs] lousy no good dirty lapdog puppet who can't do   
anything right...  
  
Seifer: What was that?!?! [runs after Zell.]  
  
Fujin: QUICK. RAIJIN. SQUALL. WE ESCAPE. SEIFER NOT SEE.  
  
Raijin: Yeah, good plan ya know.  
  
Squall: I thought you guys volunteered for this...  
  
Raijin: He dragged us into this, ya know? I'm his best friend, but  
I can't take this...  
  
Fujin: AGREED. I LOVE HIM, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH.  
  
[hear Seifer coming back...]  
  
Fujin: RUN!  
  
[Fujin and Raijin high-tail it outta there.]  
  
Seifer: I ran Chicken-Wuss right into a T-Rexar. He should be back  
soon with his dino bone. Now, why are you standing around?  
  
Squall: I already fought one. [procures a dino bone from his backpack.]  
  
Seifer: Wow! That was quick! Good job Squall. Maybe you're not a   
Puberty Boy after all... Hey, where are Fujin and Raijin?  
  
Squall: Disciplinary Committee emergency.  
  
Zell: [from far away] FINAL HEAVEN! [comes running back with his   
jacket torn, carrying a dino bone.] I did it! Can I escape now.  
  
Seifer: Chicken-Wuss, why can't you be more like Squall? He got a   
T-Rexar in only a few seconds. [Squall smiled.] Alright. Dismissed.  
  
[Zell and Squall walk out.]  
  
Zell: Where did you get that bone? I didn't see you fight any T-Rexar.  
  
Squall: Had it for a while in my backpack. Knew it would come in   
handy. Actually, I had a few in there.  
  
Zell: You let me fight when you had extra dino bones?!?! That's it   
Puberty Boy! You're going down!  
  
[chases after Squall]  
  
Squall: Hey! I'm Commander! Hault! Rinoa!?!? Disciplinary Committee?!?!  
  
======  
  
Squall: Hey wait a minute... I have a gunblade! Ahahahaha!  
  
Zell: [gulps] Um, nevermind!  
  
======  
  
[the end]  
  
A/N: Merry Happy Hanukwansmas to all!  
Also, I just got the Griever program for my FF8 PC. Why? Not for the  
cheats and ability to use Selphie's special slot magic as normal  
magic. Its cause when I use it I can unlock Seifer as a playable   
character for the whole game o^-^o. What can I say, I like his limit  
break. 


End file.
